FORGIVENESS is the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, lets go of negative emotions such as revenge, with an increased ability to wish the offender well.
How many of us can say we have truly forgiven a person or even ourselves? As a lady; a human being; a woman of God, I have yet to master the art of forgiveness. I myself sometimes find it challenging to forgive someone for their acts especially when it’s on intimate level. Although forgiveness has become part of my soul therapy, I am still beating down this brick wall to surpass the bitterness; the hurt; and the anger that stems from not forgiving. Forgiving is not solely for the person that has done the wrong but also for myself in letting go of all the negative emotions.
As stated before, forgiving can be very challenging but I find it harder for me to forgive when I gave the person the opportunity to be honest; upfront; and straight foward no matter the situation. I find it to be most disrecpectful when you can look into my eyes and blatantly tell a lie or lies. It’s called deceit. That is not protection from hurt nor is it love, as the saying goes ” it’s adding more fuel to the fire”. I believe the offender is only protecting themeselves from hurt or maybe the wrath from another. We as humans sometimes forget it is not always the act in which we have done wrong but how we handle the outcome of it. When you can admit your wrongs and not having it been seeked out; investigated it shows the characteristic’s and intergrity of oneself. A relationship or friendship that was once bulit on love; honesty; and loyalty now becomes damage or destroyed in blink of an eye. How do you repair that?
There is not a point in my life where I can say I was not on the oppossite end of trying to be forgiven. I first had to forgive myself for the pain; the hurt; the heartache; the trauma; and emotions that I have brought and caused to another. Unless I never committed a certain act in my life, I can never say “I’m not that type of person”. It only takes one single act to be that type of person. Instead I say, I refrain and will continue to refrain from being that “type”.
When I forgive it’s not saying that you never hurt me or I will ever forget. I am letting the person know that I choose to let go of the bitterness; the hurt; the anger; the temptation of wanting revenge. I am choosing to dethrone you of the power that I have given you. Most importantly, I am letting the person know that I have the power over my happiness, I have the power over my life.
I will end this entry on this note as I am trying to live by it myself.
And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you of your sins.