Soul Purification is the start of my Soul Therapy. My purification will consist of the cleansing of foreign elements from my body; the cleansing of my heart and mind.
At times when I’m struggling with life situations that seem chaotic; out of control and not under my control, anxiousness and worrying takes over. I become over whelmed with the thought that shit is just not right in my life. I feel I’ve hit a dark place in my life and there is no shining light to guide me. I feel as I hit a brick wall at 200 miles per hour and I fall into a zone where I over think and over analyze every nook and cranny of my life. Good or bad??? It can be good because it shows that I do not over look and slack in areas of my life that needs developing and maturing. Too much of anything is never a good thing. At times when I experience suffering it tends to draw me closer to God. I seek out God to help me with a resolution to my problems. I find myself in deep prayer trying to cast my problems to the Lord and get through the difficult times. I can tell you folks faith it’s self can be trying. It is hard to keep faith when you are unable to see and speak to someone that is not there in a physical form. Prayer helps to relieve my heart and mind from the evil and intrusive thoughts that enter; run through and sometimes remain. There are times when these thoughts cross my mind with no apparent reason but most of the times it can be a person; place; thing or even a certain date that trigger these thoughts. My mind is constantly racing with thoughts. To slow down my thought process I turn to alcohol as a way of escape. In reality I’m never escaping. It’s only a temporary relief from reality. People tend to play on my weaknesses especially when I’m not in my right state of mind. Trust me when I tell you people have played on my weakness many, many, many times and then like to turn around and say it’s the alcohol. So I am here to clarify this once and for all. I am naturally a woman that will go bonkers on that ass if you hurt me; disrespect me; intervene in my personal life; my relationship or anything that is no concern of yours. And Lord don’t try to put your hands on me…. It’s not the alcohol that that conjures up the anger but it does enhance the anger. So I say to the people that have played on my weakness. Take a look at yourself and your situations. You have way to much time on your hand worrying about me. Take that time you spend focusing on me and use it to focus on yourself and your situations. If you can say your life is perfect than you’re obviously overlooking something. Start over; retract and look again. The time you spend focusing on yourself can lead to great outcomes.
People, trust me when I say anger that leads to rage can be deadly and unhealthy. It is time to let go! I know I am. With the help of God I am in control of my life; I am in control to the pursuit of my happiness.
I’ve come to realize that if something is not enhancing my life I will let it go. If people are not contributing to enhancing my life; helping to build me up to become a stronger person and is just bringing me down to their level and or bringing drama to my life I will let them go. Misery does not have time for company. I have no more time to stall and wait in my path to reach my destination.
I will end this entry on this note: Love and respect yourself to fullest and everyone else will follow suit. If they don’t then fuck them they are not meant to be in your life.