The child – A human between the stages of birth and puberty or in the developmental stage of childhood, between infancy and adulthood.
The adult – A human that has reached maturity. A person who is fully grown or developed.
There are times in life as a child we fight with ourselves to have the adult in us come out before it’s time. On the ironic side; we fight ourselves to lose the child in us when we have to face the challenges and adversity of developing and taking on the responsibility of being an adult.
As children being raised by our parents, appointed guardians and/or idolizing a influential person, we tend to admire that adult stature. We admire our mothers for being the strong women they are. We look at how she wear the many hats of keeping the family together. How she is able to go work to feed, clothed, and pay the bills – The Provider; how she fights the outside world and it’s ignorance – The Female Warrior; how she comes home to help us with our homework, cook and help us through our challenges and diversity of our little lives as she kisses and help heal our wounds and let us know everything will get better and be just fine- The Nurturer; how she mold us, teaches us the ways of life, how to conduct ourselves, and prepare us for adulthood to send us off to start our own lives and start our own families – The Educator; how she tends to her husband as he comes home from a day of battle of the outside world even after she is weary from her own day of work -The Wife. We look at this woman as a child (little girl) and say we want to be her; we want to be bold, strong and beautiful. We look at this woman as a child (little boy) and say these are the qualities we want our wife to resemble.
We admire our fathers for being the strong men they are. We look at how he goes out to work, to build that house, to get that car, to pay the bills, to put food on the table, in that pantry, in that refrigerator – Head of Household; how he fights the battle of living up to the title of being a man of the one who posses strength physically, the one who posses wisdom intellectually, how he also fight the outside world and it’s ignorance – The Male Warrior; how he sets the children straight and at times have to chastise them in good intentions to help them learn to have respect for oneself and to have respect for another – The Discipliner; he also teaches us the ways of life, how to conduct ourselves, how to stand up strong and show integrity no matter what comes against us – The Principal; how he tends to his to wife after coming home from a world of chaos – The Husband. We look at this man (little boy) and say we want to be just like him; wise, strong and handsome. We look at this man (little girl) and say these are the qualities we want our husband to resemble.
As children we idolize adults that are influential good or bad in hopes in obtaining the talent they have, the fame, the money, the fancy houses and the fancy cars.
My question is: What happens when as a child we only get to experience having a mother/father with some of those qualities listed above, none of those qualities listed above and in many cases you don’t have a mother/father at all in your life whether living or dead to instill those qualities in you.
My personal answer: Some of us children become confused, because we were not taught certain valuable lessons by the adult figures in our life, or we had only one adult figure playing both roles trying teach us both sides. In the worst case scenario we had neither Mother nor Father, no Guardian appointed to us and no adult figure to idolize. We become unaware of what is wrong, what is right, what to do, what not do, how to act, how not to act, etc… we are roaming around trying to figure it out. We sometimes tend to become lost. So when we face the adversities of life we feel like we are fighting a battle because we are incapable of handling a situation we know nothing about.
The Child has now become an Adult. So here in my opinion we have two types of adults. The Willing – The one who is willing to learn and willing to always learn throughout his/her adulthood, the one who hungers, thirst and desire knowledge, the one who wants to grow and prosper no matter what wrench is thrown in the process, no matter what mountain has to be climbed, no matter what wounds and scars they have to endure, no matter their up bringing. The one who accepts responsibility for his/her actions and wrong doings and the willingness to learn how to correct them, the one who doesn’t shift blame. The Adult does and will not make excuses for maturing at any level in their life. The Unwilling – The one who is unwilling to learn, the one who reasons or make excuses on why they can’t learn, the one who doesn’t hunger, thirst or have the desire to grow and prosper. The one who goes through the trials and tribulations of life and give up, not because they can’t handle it but because of the unwillingness to handle it. The one who is so stuck in their child like ways in which they are unwilling to take a step into adulthood because they fear the pain of the wounds and scars they have to endure. The one who does not take responsibility for his/her actions and wrong doings and the unwillingness to correct them but rather shift the blame. That is a Child trapped in an adult body.
Now don’t get me wrong we all have that little child in us. Some adults tend to forget that too, there is nothing wrong with playing, having fun, smiling, laughing and enjoying life. I believe that is the kid in us. But we need to learn when to bring that child out. When you’re facing matters of an adulthood look in that mirror and say little girl/little boy I don’t have time for this, I have sh*t to handle! When it’s time to kick back and relax, look in that mirror and say Mrs/Mr (Name), I need little me for a moment.
I will end this entry on this note: When your child is looking at you, remember he/she is looking at an image of oneself in the future and what will be. When you look at your child remember you are looking at a image of yourself of the past and what was.