Ms. Wright's Blog

The Wright Place

Archive for the tag “Life Journeys”

The Child vs The Adult

The child – A human between the stages of birth and puberty or in the developmental stage of childhood,  between infancy and adulthood.

The adult – A human that has reached maturity. A person who is fully grown or developed.

There are times in life as a child we fight with ourselves to have the adult in us come out before it’s time. On the ironic side; we fight ourselves to lose the child in us when we have to face the challenges and adversity of developing and taking on the responsibility of being an adult.

As children being raised by our parents, appointed guardians and/or idolizing a influential person, we tend to admire that adult stature. We admire our mothers for being the strong women they are. We look at how she wear the many hats of keeping the family together. How she is able to go work to feed, clothed, and pay the bills – The Provider; how she fights the outside world and it’s ignorance – The Female Warrior; how she comes home to help us with our homework, cook and help us through our challenges and diversity of our little lives as she kisses and help heal our wounds and let us know everything will get better and be just fine- The Nurturer; how she mold us, teaches us the ways of life, how to conduct ourselves, and prepare us for adulthood to send us off to start our own lives and start our own families – The Educator; how she tends to her husband as he comes home from a day of battle of the outside world even after she is weary from her own day of work -The Wife. We look at this woman as a child (little girl) and say we want to be her; we want to be bold, strong and beautiful. We look at this woman as a child (little boy) and say these are the qualities we want our wife to resemble.

We admire our fathers for being the strong men they are.  We look at how he goes out to work, to build that house, to get that car, to pay the bills, to put food on the table, in that pantry, in that refrigerator – Head of Household; how he fights the battle of living up to the title of being a man of the one who posses strength physically, the one who posses wisdom intellectually, how he also fight the outside world and it’s ignorance – The Male Warrior; how he sets the children straight and at times have to chastise them in good intentions to help them learn to have respect for oneself and to have respect for another – The Discipliner; he also teaches us the ways of life, how to conduct ourselves, how to stand up strong and show integrity no matter what comes against us – The Principal; how he tends to his to wife after coming home from a world of chaos – The Husband. We look at this man (little boy) and say we want to be just like him; wise, strong and handsome. We look at this man (little girl) and say these are the qualities we want our husband to resemble.

As children we idolize adults that are influential good or bad in hopes in obtaining the talent they have, the fame, the money, the fancy houses and the fancy cars.

My question is: What happens when as a child we only get to experience having a mother/father with some of those qualities listed above, none of those qualities listed above and in many cases you don’t have a mother/father at all in your life whether living or dead to instill those qualities in you.

My personal answer: Some of us children become confused, because we were not taught certain valuable lessons by the adult figures in our life, or we had only one adult figure playing both roles trying teach us both sides. In the worst case scenario we had neither Mother nor Father, no Guardian appointed to us and no adult figure to idolize. We become unaware of what is wrong, what is right, what to do, what not do, how to act, how not to act, etc… we are roaming around trying to figure it out. We sometimes tend to become lost. So when we face the adversities of life we feel like we are fighting a battle because we are incapable of handling a situation we know nothing about.

The Child has now become an Adult. So here in my opinion we have two types of adults. The Willing – The one who is willing to learn and willing to always learn throughout his/her adulthood, the one who hungers, thirst and desire knowledge, the one who wants to grow and prosper no matter what wrench is thrown in the process, no matter what mountain has to be climbed, no matter what wounds and scars they have to endure, no matter their up bringing. The one who accepts responsibility for his/her actions and wrong doings and the willingness to learn how to correct them, the one who doesn’t shift blame. The Adult does and will not make excuses for maturing at any level in their life. The Unwilling – The one who is unwilling to learn, the one who reasons or make excuses on why they can’t learn, the one who doesn’t hunger, thirst or have the desire to grow and prosper. The one who goes through the trials and tribulations of life and give up, not because they can’t handle it but because of the unwillingness to handle it. The one who is so stuck in their child like ways in which they are unwilling to take a step into adulthood because they fear the pain of  the wounds and scars they have to endure. The one who does not take responsibility for his/her actions and wrong doings and the unwillingness to correct them but rather shift the blame. That is a Child trapped in an adult body.

Now don’t get me wrong we all have that little child in us. Some adults tend to forget that too, there is nothing wrong with playing, having fun, smiling, laughing and enjoying life. I believe that is the kid in us. But we need to learn when to bring that child out. When you’re facing matters of an adulthood look in that mirror and say little girl/little boy I don’t have time for this, I have sh*t to handle!  When it’s time to kick back and relax, look in that mirror and say Mrs/Mr (Name), I need little me for a moment.

I will end this entry on this note: When your child is looking at you, remember he/she is looking at an image of oneself in the future and what will be. When you look at your child remember you are looking at a image of yourself of the past and what was.

Peace,
–Maria–

-Maria-

Love Isn’t Easy

Love is by far from being easy. Love isn’t always perfect. Love is overcoming obstacles; facing challenges; fighting to be together; holding on and never letting go. Love is work but it is well worth it.

I find love to be one of the toughest emotions to experience.  As with any emotion it has it’s ups and downs. Love can be a battlefield and it can be brutal; it can leave you very scarred, scarred to the point where it leaves you bitter and jaded making it harder to recover. I believe we go through the hurts and trying times of love so we can understand how to love better; how to hurt others less because we have experienced the pain it causes. Love is not meant to be abused. It is very hard out there in the world to find love that is real and unconditionally given. There have been times when love went away or manifested itself in a different way as circumstances changed. It had me question myself, was it love; was it an obsession for love?

Some people confuse control and jealousy for love. I am here to say love will never be controlling which can lead to intimidation. When love is real there is no need for neither person to dominant over one another. Love is like flying (No Boundaries) The only person that has the authority over you is YOU. Jealousy is just an emotion filled with negative thoughts; insecurity and envy. It is that little demon that whispers suspicion and rage. There might be a time when you will experience the emotion of jealousy but when love is real and sincere, you will be reassured with the honesty; trust and loyalty.

When love is right… oh Lord it can be beautiful. It gives the feeling of over whelming excitement. Love presents a burning passion deep within that some of us never knew we had. I believe love is an extension of our inner self. When we are able to love oneself properly it leads us to an abundance of love from another, meaning we have little tolerance to except any less. I believe when we love ourselves properly it gives us the ability to love another with the same intent. We can not give or support another with love if we are incapable of doing it for ourselves.

Everyone will not love the same but I believe when it is sincere it will lead us to the same destination. Regardless of the circumstances we have been through EVERYONE deserves love.

When you face a difficult time or a time of confusion. Stop; wait; recoup;  think and dig deep inside and find if there is something in that person worth giving YOUR love too. As my best friend once told never stop fighting for your love one.

I will end this entry on this note: Be careful of the diamond you let go of, you might just find yourself collecting rocks. When your love is real for one another, you can become one without losing your individuality.

Peace
–Maria–

-Maria-

Forgiveness

FORGIVENESS is the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, lets go of negative emotions such as revenge, with an increased ability to wish the offender well.

How many of us can say we have truly forgiven a person or even ourselves? As a lady; a human being; a woman of God, I have yet to master the art of forgiveness. I myself sometimes find it challenging to forgive someone for their acts especially when it’s on intimate level. Although forgiveness has become part of my soul therapy, I am still beating down this brick wall to surpass the bitterness; the hurt; and the anger that stems from not forgiving.  Forgiving is not solely for the person that has done the wrong but also for myself in letting go of all the negative emotions.

As stated before, forgiving can be very challenging but I find it harder for me to forgive when I gave the person the opportunity to be honest; upfront; and straight foward no matter the situation. I find it to be most disrecpectful when you can look into my eyes and blatantly tell a lie or lies. It’s called deceit. That is not protection from hurt nor is it love, as the saying goes ” it’s adding more fuel to the fire”. I believe the offender is only protecting themeselves from hurt or maybe the wrath from another. We as humans sometimes forget it is not always the act in which we have done wrong but how we handle the outcome of it. When you can admit your wrongs and not having it been seeked out; investigated it shows the characteristic’s and intergrity of oneself. A relationship or friendship that was once bulit on love; honesty; and loyalty now becomes damage or destroyed in blink of an eye. How do you repair that?

There is not a point in my life where I can say I was not on the oppossite end of trying to be forgiven. I first had to forgive myself for the pain; the hurt; the heartache; the trauma; and emotions that I have brought and caused to another. Unless I never committed a certain act in my life, I can never say “I’m not that type of person”. It only takes one single act to be that type of person. Instead I say, I refrain and will continue to refrain from being that “type”.

When I forgive it’s not saying that you never hurt me or I will ever forget. I am letting the person know that I choose to let go of the bitterness; the hurt; the anger; the temptation of wanting revenge. I am choosing to dethrone you of the power that I have given you. Most importantly, I am letting the person know that I have the power over my happiness, I have the power over my life.

I will end this entry on this note as I am trying to live by it myself.

Mark 11:25
And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you of your sins.

Peace
–Maria–

Soul Purification

Soul Purification is the start of my Soul Therapy. My purification will consist of the cleansing of foreign elements from my body; the cleansing of my heart and mind.

At times when I’m struggling with life situations that seem chaotic; out of control and not under my control, anxiousness and worrying takes over. I become over whelmed with the thought that shit is just not right in my life. I feel I’ve hit a dark place in my life and there is no shining light to guide me. I feel as I hit a brick wall at 200 miles per hour and I fall into a zone where I over think and over analyze every nook and cranny of my life. Good or bad??? It can be good because it shows that I do not over look and slack in areas of my life that needs developing and maturing. Too much of anything is never a good thing. At times when I experience suffering it tends to draw me closer to God. I seek out God to help me with a resolution to my problems. I find myself in deep prayer trying to cast my problems to the Lord and get through the difficult times. I can tell you folks faith it’s self can be trying. It is hard to keep faith when you are unable to see and speak to someone that is not there in a physical form. Prayer helps to relieve my heart and mind from the evil and intrusive thoughts that enter; run through and sometimes remain. There are times when these thoughts cross my mind with no apparent reason but most of the times it can be a person; place; thing or even a certain date that trigger these thoughts. My mind is constantly racing with thoughts. To slow down my thought process I turn to alcohol as a way of escape. In reality I’m never escaping. It’s only a temporary relief from reality. People tend to play on my weaknesses especially when I’m not in my right state of mind. Trust me when I tell you people have played on my weakness many, many, many times and then like to turn around and say it’s the alcohol. So I am here to clarify this once and for all. I am naturally a woman that will go bonkers on that ass if you hurt me; disrespect me; intervene in my personal life; my relationship or anything that is no concern of yours. And Lord don’t try to put your hands on me…. It’s not the alcohol that that conjures up the anger but it does enhance the anger. So I say to the people that have played on my weakness. Take a look at yourself and your situations. You have way to much time on your hand worrying about me. Take that time you spend focusing on me and use it to focus on yourself and your situations. If you can say your life is perfect than you’re obviously overlooking something. Start over; retract and look again. The time you spend focusing on yourself can lead to great outcomes.

People, trust me when I say anger that leads to rage can be deadly and unhealthy. It is time to let go! I know I am. With the help of God I am in control of my life; I am in control to the pursuit of my happiness.

I’ve come to realize that if something is not enhancing my life I will let it go. If people are not contributing to enhancing my life; helping to build me up to become a stronger person and is just bringing me down to their level and or bringing drama to my life I will let them go. Misery does not have time for company. I have no more time to stall and wait in my path to reach my destination.

I will end this entry on this note: Love and respect yourself to fullest and everyone else will follow suit. If they don’t then fuck them they are not meant to be in your life.

Peace
–Maria–

Soul Therapy

Soul Therapy is a healing and counseling I decided to do to help me with my inner anger; frustrations; and anxiety. These three actions have caused me to build up such a boiling rage deep inside that I literally will take someone out if they dare try to test me. Not by any weapons. I consider that to be for a scared punk ass. I’m talking physically with me bare hands. I am not claiming to be the strongest person on this earth but those three combinations can be a deadly weapon in itself if you allow it to control you and take over your being. I am all to experienced in this area. I believe this type of rage can cause a lot of damage to the mind where it can lead to break downs. I believe it can cause sicknesses in the body where your body can shut down. So today I take a stand for myself, to take care of myself. If I can’t and or won’t stand for myself nobody else will. When I cried out for help from certain love ones in my life the only person that stood beside me and went to bat for me is my best friend.

I am opening myself up to the world. I am no therapist but I hope to reach someone out there with my life experiences as well as learn from my readers.

So stay tune folks as we are in for a ride and a hell of a journey.

Peace
-Maria-

Post Navigation

%d bloggers like this: